There are websites for therapy consumers with “check-lists” containing warning signs of questionable and inappropriate behaviors by therapists you should watch out for.
What is and isn’t acceptable or ethical in therapy is not always based on objective sets of rules such as professional ethical code. Oftentimes, it’s a matter of opinion. I might judge ethics in therapy somewhat differently from how others do it. For instance, if I wanted to make a list of therapists to avoid, the type of therapist who would top my list would be the one who suggests, explicitly or implicitly, that you have “trust issues” at the onset of therapy .
They usually make this suggestion whenever you disagree with their opinion on your situation, as if disagreeing with someone is the same as a lack of trust.
I don’t want to say that it is never appropriate for a therapist to talk about trust issues if they believe this is important in your case, but the concept of trust shouldn’t be twisted and misrepresented to serve the therapist’s agenda.
A competent, ethical therapist knows that trust has to be earned. They would never demand your trust, especially early on in therapy.
Many people come to therapy with the history of trauma and they should get all the time and space they need to feel safe and comfortable enough to start trusting the therapist. Mistrust of others in those who have been mistreated in the past are a normal protective mechanism and, as such, shouldn’t be interpreted as something pathological.
Besides, there is a difference between not trusting someone’s intentions and not trusting their competence. If the client doesn’t trust the therapist’s competence, that is not a “trust issue” but rather a normal consumer judgment. And, most certainly, a difference of opinion is not a trust issue either, and when the therapist presents it as such, I recommend you to fire them immediately because they are too insecure about themselves and have too big of an ego to be doing therapy work.
When your therapist forces the issue of trust at the forefront of discussions in the beginning of therapy without giving the thereapy process a chance to unfold naturally and giving you the opportunity to get comfortable with it, the therapist is either incredibly incompetent or incredibly controlling or both. In all of those cases, it won’t serve your interests to keep seeing them. Don’t waste your time and money and, most importantly, don’t stay in the situation that may be potentially harmful for you. You deserve better.